magzine reflection pt2

1. Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what improved? How did it get better? Why?
I defiantly think there is a big difference from my first draft to my final pdf file. I really didn't have an intro it just went right into my topic which didn't help my readers get a feel of what my readers are getting into. I think because i had plenty of people read over it and give me feedback on it, that it help out a lot. My body piece didn't need much work since it was mainly opinion and things that happened to me so there was not a big difference to that except that added a conclusion to wrap up my thought.

2. Overall, when you think about the big picture of your writing, what still needs work? What do you think will help you improve? Why?
Overall I think I still need to work on the structure of the writing. I think my sentences could flow better so people can understand what I am talking about. I can improve this by letting the people looking at my paper know that I need help structuring paper, then they would be more focused on helping me with my structure.

3. Specifically, show us something that improved and describe the path it took to get better. You can quote your article, your drafts, link to evidence, etc.
old intro
Somethings you can learn from my mistakes and successes. Upcoming juniors the first thing you should learn from me is.
new intro
"During internship I made some mistakes, and through my experiences I learned a lot and can help you have a better internship experience than I did. I learned some things the hard way. I am a very laid back person I did what I was told, no questions asked, and that was the main reason I was miserable at my internship. I did not speak up and tell my mentor what I would like to do and because of that I was given the simple job of inputting information into a database instead of the more interesting job of giving tours which I wanted to do, but never got the chance . So this does not happen to you"

My original intro was just a few sentence but with help from my classmates and other people who looked at my paper, it turned into a whole paragraph about what the audience would be reading. this This was a good thing to add because I agreed that I needed to add an longer intro so people can better understand my writing.

4. Describe something specific (or a few things!) that you learned about writing.
I learned that less is more- more info and writing doesn't necessarily mean your paper is better than the person who wrote less it just means you put more unnecessary things in your paper.

always have an exciting intro and ending- don't start your article with a exciting intro and leave your audience hanging with a boring ending keep your audience happy that they read paper. You should always have a interesting intro cause with out one the audience would not even finish reading it.
Use action verbs when writing your sub-headline and headline- Also if you don't have an interesting headline they wont pick it up either you have to pull your audience with a heading that will seem interesting read.